Therapy with Ali Gill

There are some differences between Counselling and Psychotherapy which, very broadly speaking, revolve around the length of therapy and the nature of the problem. For instance, a counsellor may be more likely to help you change circumstances in your life right now, in the short-term, and a psychotherapist may take you back, over time into deep-seated emotions or patterns from childhood, possibly even trauma, which may be affecting how you currently feel or behave. 

As I’m both a counsellor and a psychotherapist, you don’t need to know which you require, in advance.

Every counsellor or psychotherapist is different, just like the people you meet in everyday life; some you will warm to and others you won’t. It’s very difficult to work out who will be the best practitioner for you, because often you won’t have much information about them.

When you speak to a counsellor or psychotherapist for the first time, it is important that you feel comfortable with them. It’s important that it feels right for you.  All practitioners will work slightly differently; there are different models of therapy and the personality and experience of a practitioner will affect the way that the process is delivered.

Therapy is about being able to talk and express the feelings and thoughts that you have to someone who can really listen to you, understand what you’re saying and help you to better understand your issues and yourself. Putting actual words to these thoughts and feelings and speaking them out loud can really give you a greater sense of understanding and ownership of these things. 

Talking about your thoughts and feelings can be scary. It takes courage, but it is a healthy way to deal with what you are experiencing. It is human nature to need to talk about your stuff, even on a daily basis or when things get tough. You know how helpful it can be to just tell somebody you’ve had a stressful day? It’s the same with therapy; talking about things helps you to take control rather than being controlled. Sometimes it’s not possible to talk to your friends or relatives about the things that are bothering you, and it can be really important to offload to a trained professional who can be impartial and not try to influence you in any way. They also won’t be “burdened” by what you tell them.

Often, we will try to ignore the stuff that’s causing us problems or we’re “programmed” to deal with it all by ourselves, believing that asking for help is a sign of weakness. This may work, but often it all becomes too much and we reach a crisis point, when something has to change. Maybe we get physically ill, or become stressed, anxious or depressed. Self-help books can be useful as well, but there will be a limit to their effectiveness because the information and advice is inevitably broad and general.

The beauty of the therapeutic process is that it’s tailored to your needs; you talk about what is important to you. You explore the issues that you know are at the heart of your troubles and you do it with the guidance and support of a professional therapist. That way you can deal with the problem more effectively and in a way that feels right for you.

From an existential point of view, this is how I’d introduce the Psychotherapeutic process to you:-

“A journey into the soul, deep below the surface of our everyday lives, may take courage and determination, so take heart and swim forward into a sea, filled with adventure and spirit, the spirit of all creation.

 Take my hand and venture into the unknown depths of your heart, mind and soul; discover your true potential and the essence of who you really are.

 A whole new world is waiting for you when you are willing to take these first few steps away from the familiarity and comfort of the past and step forward into a new present and future, free from old constraints and expectations.

Feel the fear and do it anyway!”

Fear and depression destroy our spontaneity and our natural ability to feel joy and love; our physical bodies can become blocked. When we unlock the door to our emotional hearts, love pours forward from every direction and we can connect more deeply than ever before.

 Working on ourselves is never a purely selfish pursuit; when we change, the people and world around us also change; each and every one of us is a powerful catalyst for local and universal healing and growth.